Archive for the ‘Austen’ Category


Posted: 2009/02/28 in Austen, christianity, sin, struggle
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how do you teach a 5 year old repentance?


i don’t know if my heart has ever been so broken.  Austen has entered into this phase of his life where he knows all the right answers when he is in trouble but the look on his face is so blank.  he got in big trouble yesterday for a rebellious act.  we “discussed” it.  today he got in trouble for the same thing…twice.  dumb.  he doesn’t get it.  tonight (the last time) when he got busted he knew it was bad…but his “sorry” never left the stage of “crap, i just got caught.”  can you teach a kid to have a repentant heart?  am i able to teach him that being sorry is not about the trouble you’re in or about how “firm” i am.  the most emotion i got tonight was when he started crying because i got firm with him.  dude, it’s not about how disappointed i get!  it’s about being sorry that you broke your mom’s and my heart bro.  it about loosing trust.  it’s about never wanting to go down that road again.  

i can not change his heart.  only God can change his heart.  i can love him, teach him about sin, embrace him, teach him about the glorious things about God…but i can’t change him.  

God save my little boy.  change him from the inside out.  break his heart when he breaks ours.  God teach me the same thing about my own sin in how it breaks your heart.  thank you for allowing me to struggle through this only to teach me about “a Fathers love for me.”  

I love you Jesus!


Austen, my oldest, is in that phase of his life where everything that he does…that we praise… he says, “i want to be a (fill in the blank) when i grow up.”  it’s hard to express the feelings that i get when i hear my son dream.  it’s joyful.  i have almost forgot what it is to dream. i encourage people to dream all the time but do i still dream?  maybe!

 Austen, pursue Christ with your whole heart, relentlessly…and dream buddy.  God has gifted you and may your sin never quench that.  never forget that you are evil at the core but Christ righteousness will make you righteous everyday.  He will fill you with joy as you pursue Him and His love will allow to do thing that you never thought were possible.  love Him my son!  i love you forever…for always…my little boy you’ll be!