crying

Posted: 2009/01/11 in christianity, Landon
Tags: , ,

why don’t we cry more?

this was a question i pondered as i laid in bed with my three year old as he fought back tears after i sent him to naps.  we laid there for a while, then in the saddest whisper i heard, “you said i could play video games.”  i had forgotten that i told him that but it was too late.  that didn’t even begin to heal his broken heart.

seriously, that kid can cry at the drop of a hat.  

as i was pondering my deep question as i held an angry kid…something  profound hit me!  are you ready for this.

i think we don’t cry because as we get older are hearts are connected to less. 

deep, i know!

seriously though, why did Landon cry?  he cried because because his heart was connected to playing video games.  his heart was crushed.  it seems his heart is connected to a lot of things as fighting tears are a part of our normal day.

to say that my heart is not connected to anything other than my wife and my kids is absurd.  i could list numerous things i feel my heart is connected to.  but what level am i connected to it.  let’s use Haiti for example.  it’s fresh in my mind.  i truly feel a connection to the children of Haiti.  there are countless deaths a year caused by lack of food/nutrition.  it is ridicules that anyone should suffer that way…in a world with our resources.  i get sad at this fact.  but it’s mostly a fleeting sadness.  it’s a genuine sadness but immature.  

are we less connected to things than we thought?  are we more in love with the idea of being broken then actually being broken?  

maybe Landons tear say more about him then I ever thought.  maybe it’s a glance into his heart.  maybe my lack of tears say more about me!  a glance into the depth of my heart (or lack of).  

 

God, i beg you to keep Landon’s heart and mature it.  do not allow me to break his spirit for the sake of “making him into a man.”  help me to discipline a rebellious heart and nurture a gentle spirit.  make him into a man after your heart.  Father, give me a broken heart.  i can not be “connected” to everything but i beg you to allow me to be deeply connected to the things to you place on my heart.  do not allow me to be lazy or selfish with my heart.  grant me the discipline and passion to be diligent with my “free time.”

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Comments
  1. marsha says:

    ok so I was talking to a friend about this just last night. As a man I think he needs to learn to cry more, grieve more for his own loss… not just for others loss which he does. Its hard for men to reduce to tears, but I have always thought a real man knows how to cry. Its a beautiful thing. So your blog got me thinking, I never thought about it in my own life. My heart feels broken for the same reasons you mention: children, suffering, starvation, disease, just senseless death from lack of resources… just children in general not knowing what love feels like. The thought of the orphaned children all over the world right now… but I dont cry… my heart hurts so bad for them but no tears. Maybe I need to dig deeper too.

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