stolen affections

Posted: 2011/07/16 in family, joy, struggle
Tags: , ,

I think I am watching the innocence of my children leaving.  Some may read this in a negative light, I just think it’s part of growing up.  In many, and probably most ways, my kids have the heart of a child but today I sat in my living room just watching my kids talk about popular pop songs.  My kids are 7, 6, and 4, and when they’re talking about what pandora station they want to listen to and their choices include artist like Bieber, Ke$sh, and Bruno Mars, I am slowly watching other things compete for the affections of my children (no, I’m not one that things non-christian music is from the devil).  I strongly desire my kids to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.  I want the cross to be the center of their life and change their heart and their outlook on everything.  I want Jesus to be the thing that radiates from their being.

This is what I know, I am never going to be able to “protect” them from things that have the intent of robbing them from the joy that is only found in Christ.  Part of maturity and part of growing up is being able to see these things and choosing Christ by the grace of God.  Stacy and I have a plan on what song’s are appropriate for our kids.  In this tiny scope of realty (which this issue is not about music), as terrible as some songs are, we know that the true and most dangerous “affection robbers” come not just in the obvious, but in the obscure.

I see the need stronger than ever to find consistent family worship, things that continually point us to the cross of Jesus, because if I’m lazy as their parent, it could be deadly in the end.  Jesus protect them and save them, lead me as I seek to lead them!


been a while

Posted: 2011/07/16 in Uncategorized

I know that no one reads my blogs, mainly because it’s been a year and a half since I’ve posted last, but I think it’s time to start posting again.  I romanticize about having a place to write down my thoughts and ask questions.  Not really looking for answers necessarily, just a safe place to put down what in my head.  My mind tends to be a black whole at times.  I always feel I am wrestling withs some great questions and every now and then I have something profound pop in my brain.  But as quick as they come, they tend to go.  I pray that in my longing to love Jesus, in my struggle to be the best husband that I can, and in my desire to lead my kids to the cross, I pray this is a place that I can wrestle openly – safely (even though it’s open to the world wide web).

I’m not looking to gain readers or followers.  Its actually preferred if no one reads.  Jesus I pray that you use it to lead me to Yourself and glorify Yourself through it.

Check out this story from Haiti.

– keeping out hearts connected!!!!

Forgotten Haiti…again?

Posted: 2010/01/24 in Uncategorized

I am breaking blogging silence.  It’s been since…dang…i don’t know…since last April?  A lot has been going on these past 2 weeks.  I want to start off and ask a simple question to the believers of Jesus…how are you reconciling what’s going on in Haiti in light of a loving God?  Read this.

Now…onto the purpose of my post.  The Media attention in Haiti is starting to die off.  Please do not confuse this fact with the rumor that things are starting to level off there.  If anything, things are just getting started.  If you have been frozen in these past weeks and never had the opportunity to give financially to the efforts that are going on in Haiti…it is far from too late.

I know that “giving” to this cause is not new news.  NBC alone raised 57 million dollars Friday night.  Wow..amazing…but this is not the end.  Haiti is not back to normal…I don’t know if it ever will.  Please, don’t forget this beautiful country again.

Here is a bit of our joy:

My wife and I support an organization called Haiti Foundation of Hope (this is who she went to Haiti with last March).  Our Haitian friend, pastor, and partner in this organization has been working diligently to pass out food and everyday supplies to haitians living in Port-au-Prince.  We had the privilege to give to HFH.  I am so thankful that our resources (God’s resources) that we entrusted to HFH were being used immediately and not sitting on the tarmac of PAP airport.  To give credit to this article and not be dramatic, it was written 4 days ago and the reports that Stacy and I read about are that these supplies are being released…but slowly.  It has to be diplomatic process.  But people are dying in this process.  Death is not a recent past for Haiti…it’s todays realization.  People are still dying.  It is a horrific site…with small joys and victory stories are emerging though (link was written last night).

If you still want to give to the cause in Haiti and want the relief funds to go directly to use please give at the trusted locations:

HFH, Heartline Ministries (Haitian ministry), World Wide Village, and Real Hope for Haiti Rescue Center (a long-time clinic in Haiti)

I know these funds are being directly put to use and they are in need.  Heartline has expressed recently that their funds are dwindling fast…so PRAY…GIVE…and ACT.

celebrate Jesus

Posted: 2009/04/12 in christianity, church, easter

today’s the day i have been waiting for all weekend.  i walked into our churches worship service stoked about what was to come.  last time we gathered together, on good friday, we soaked in half the story…the death of Christ.  as i previously mentioned, it was weighty.  we carried it’s weight all weekend (and blessedly so).  it was an indescribable freeing emotion to stand and openly proclaim…within our covenant community of believers:

“Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.”   – Kristian Stanfill style

I am thankful for a community that never lets me forget my sin and pushes me to approach the thrown of grace with empty arms…ready to be filled by my Savior.  Lord, may I never attempt to bring before you my feeble attempts to worship you but come empty handed ready to receive what You are willing to give.  Let me rejoice in the salvation that You have so graciously given me.  Let me be satisfied in Your presence.  Lead me to obedience in my faith…i will go!  continue to transform me with the power of Your Spirit!  thank you for the cross.  thank you for the empty tomb.  thank you for the gospel of reconciliation.  and thank you that i am a part of Your story.

all glory to the One who draws people to Himself!


like most my post…this is an attempt (and maybe a poor one) to put into words what’s in my heart!


i attend my first meaningful good friday service last night at my church.  amazing.  probably the most amazing thing was the conversation that took place afterwards.  on the way to the car Stacy mentioned how devastating the service was and her words took me by surprise, and i hope changed my life forever.  God opened my heart to all that took place.  i thought the service was amazing but i did not take away what she did.  her heart is so pure.  she is an amazing woman.  the following words are the outcome of our conversation and the conversations that followed the rest of the evening.  

“Incredibly weighty Good Friday Service tonight. We too often rush pass the cross to get to the empty tomb.”  – David Bruskas: via his facebook status.

the weight of good friday hit me for the first time.  God is allowing me to sink into the weight of such a weighty topic.  David is so right, how we quickly rush past the cross to get to the empty tomb.  guilty.  the empty tomb is so glorious, so fulfilling, so life giving…but without the cross we would never have the empty tomb.  

that’s what last night was all about at our good friday service.  the whole evening was somber.  our sanctuary chairs were arranged differently focused on the center of the room where “the table” was set up.  a dimly lit room facing a line of tables layered in candles with bread and juice scattered throughout.  scripture was read over us…the story of the death of Christ…broken up by songs sung over us, worship songs, that focused on His death and our depravity.  we never stood.  we never were encouraged to engage in worship.  we praised but it was a different kind of praise.  the experience was one of a kind.  

our lead pastor then took about 15 minutes to explain the table.  this explanation was done in a manner that i have never experienced.  the focus wasn’t on 1 Corinthians 11 but on Romans 5:6-8, “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, through for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  this is unconventional in my experience but perfect and yet devastating, because that was the end of then night.  in the midst of it all our pastor took some time and talked about Jesus sitting at the table with this twelve, during the passover feast, explaining how things were about to change.  the bread and wine that symbolized slavery will now represent Him and freedom…but not yet.  the night finished on His death, the day that True Love died.  

we took bread and wine…as Stacy explained to me, it was hard to celebrate communion with only half the story.  she said to me that she didn’t want to but Christ commanded it so she did.  

wow…that’s weighty.  

there is, and should be, so much weight that comes with the cross.  True Love is there.  He is there because you and i put him there…in our sin.  curtain down.  the night is over.



i can’t wait for sunday.  i cant wait to celebrate.  i can’t wait to stand and sing “glory to my King” because He is risen.  but God, don’t let me get there too fast.  don’t let me rush past Your cross before it is time.  when that time comes though, let me sing…receiving the power that lies in Your resurrection…the resurrection that you have given to me.  the righteousness You require to be in Your presence, God, You have given me through Your Son’s salvation.  


i wait…


in somber mourning of my sin…i wait…  

for mom

Posted: 2009/03/12 in Uncategorized

these are for you mom: